I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
