can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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