you would pick up someone in the library
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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