Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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