Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
