As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
