i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
