ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Non-Jews are for practice
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
