Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My bed smells like the plague
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
