How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
