do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
