im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i out mim tonsoeep
I know her cup size but not her name....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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