just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
