It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
