I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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