Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
