Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
