I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Your cock deserves a montage
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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