dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
