What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
