We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
try to milk me bitch
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