alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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