if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
no, he came in my armpit
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
