You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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