New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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