Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
