god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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