Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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