he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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