Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
