he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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