Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
