What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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