no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
