there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
