drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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