just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
