I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
