You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize