i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
