24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
