FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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