I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
there is puke in my bra ... again
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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