I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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