It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
