I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
