garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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