we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
