We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize