my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
