did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
