Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
