sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
