no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize