pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
