Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
