He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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