I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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