at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
