i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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