I hate your face
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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