discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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