So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
