We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
